I like my brain to be busy, to be in constant learning and in persistent use. I feel like I am dying, otherwise...
Perhaps is the fact that I prefer to think in something else rather than my fucked up thoughts and fears?
My psychologist told me something the other day... and it got me thinking. Why is it that I can’t stay a day or a moment without doing something, thinking something, learning something. She said it wasn’t “bad”, for her it seems like it’s just my way of coping with life, with whatever happens around me. It’s my coping mechanism... and I am pleased, you know... because there could be other ways to “cope” and I decided to do something rather positive about it.
May be, just may be, that’s how I decided to start my second masters degree. Let’s see where things take me. But today I feel proud of myself. I decided to learn. To keep my mind busy.
In the busyness of my mind I find peace... I am a fighter. I cope. I evolve. I try my best.
I will continue to wonder which are those thoughts that rush me to stay busy... I hope I am not running away from myself. But today I decide to focus on the positive and emphasize that I have evolved into something positive :). Being busy may not be the best coping mechanism but it certainly is good for me today. It gets me through the day and not only that, I finish the day having grown in some shape or form.
Stay busy if that’s what you need. Everyone has its on way of coping, find yours.
I will continue to evolve, one coping mechanism at a time...
